Untitled

...

I once fell asleep in a sattelite dish. My dreams were broadcasted all over the world. I saw a sign on a telephone pole, it said 'Lost - Fifty Dollars. Reward - If Found Just Keep It'..

The other day somebody stole everything in my apartment and replaced it with an exact replica... When my roommate came home I said, "Roommate, someone stole everything in our apartment and replaced it with an exact replica." He looked at me and said, "Do I know you?"

Snakes have no arms. Thats why they dont wear vests.

If you were travelling in a spaceship going the speed of light & you turned on the headlights, Would they do anything?

The Stones, they have been doing it all these years.... Fred and Barney.