Oh hi Mr. Wedge! Long time no see! Thought (hoped) you'd left forever, but here you are again, to annoy me and drive yourself between me and the one(s) I love, making advantage of my restless mind. FUCK OFF!!
I wonder where this always comes from. Since I quit that shit job I've been feeling fantastic!
And then some weeks ago, without any trigger, a knob switched in my head. I felt sliding down that pit again and very steep this time. Normally I have the power to steer myself back and this always works, except for now. Very bad timing, if this feeling keeps on blocking me I might have to quit the pedagogue course I'm following atm and I'll have to go out working again.
That's NOT an option!!
Oh and "the wedge": when I'm like this I also start thinking that the ones I need the most will turn their back on me. It takes loads of effort to NOT start sending weird messages or ask stupid questions or start stalking-like behaviour
I figure everyone has those phases every other day? I am a bit of a hater myself. lots of ways about the world for hatin'. each other, our selves. we are being pushed into a culture of hatred, no? distrust, selfishness... it's all bullshit. when you see it you gotta call it out. bring folks back into the fold, we are not so different. gotta break that ice. "cut the crap, jack" love ya, Shunt!!
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